What is my personal history?

1. Who?
a. What is my personal history?
All my life I have been told that I am pretty, but not smart. I have grown up in a small Kansas town with a single mother and a very bright younger sister who is going to go far in life while I on the other hand am expected to be nothing more than a trophy wife. I did not do extremely well in school, but I have dreams of being more than this; of getting out of this town and going somewhere different where there might be more opportunities for me.

b. What is my present state of being?
Presently, I am bored with my life. I am jealous of my sister, Millie, next to whom I feel worthless, and I am and itching to find some excitement or meaning in my life.

c. How do I perceive myself physically?
I am very aware of my beauty. I am a girly girl who loves to paint her nails and wear make-up and nice clothing (the nicest I have at least), such as a dress.
i. Mentally?
I know I am not very smart. I have been told this my entire life, and I have grown to accept and believe this as fact.
ii. Morally?
I have a strong moral compass; I know what is right and what is wrong, and I am very sure of my beliefs, but I am also somewhat flighty and easily excited, and therefore have a hard time always acting on my morals.
iii. Socially?
I know that I am viewed by others as a beautiful piece of china. I know my place as a woman, not getting dirty and always doing my duties in the kitchen and around the house. I do not question this role, and always do as I am told.
iv. Economically?
My family has had to resort to taking in boarders as a source of income. I also have a job at the penny store, for which I receive a small salary. My mother makes my clothing, and is hoping that I will marry rich in order to improve our status.
v. Spiritually?
I am not extremely spiritual. I believe in what I see and what I am told. My life is very simple and concrete; what you see is what you get.

d. What are my emotional relationships?
I am very close with both my mother and sister. Millie and I are very different and therefore we tend to fight a lot, but I value our relationship very much and in some ways I look up to Millie. She also looks to me for advice; our strengths complement each other’s. My mother is a very important factor in my life. I tell her everything and often look to her for advice and support. I know she has my best interests in mind, although she does not always understand me.
I am dating Allan, who is a very nice man, but I do not feel very strong emotions toward him. I do not feel that I fit in with his family and friends; they of a much different class, but I feel pressured to date him as he raises my family’s status and provides for us very nicely.
I am in love with Hal. Even though I have not known him long the spark between us is undeniable. My feelings for him are enough to make me leave everything I know behind and dive into what may be a very unstable lifestyle.

e. What am I wearing?
I am wearing a dress that is fitting on the top and flares outward at the waist. It is knee length and has a floral pattern with cap sleeves (just over the shoulder). My shoes are close-toed with a very small, square heel and a little buckle. Underneath my dress I have on cotton (nylon is new and too expensive) underwear which are more like shorts, but tight-fitting and a bra that also covers my mid-section, or perhaps a corselette.
2. When?
a. What is the year?
Early 1950s.

b. What is the date and time?
It is Labor Day. The play takes place over the course of the entire day, and the following morning.

c. What is the weather?
It is sunny and very warm. Summer is just beginning to turn to autumn, so the very first leaves are just beginning to change color.

d. How does “when?” affect my life?
Allan getting ready to go back to school, which means I will be in a long distance relationship. It is Labor Day which means we are going to have a picnic for which I will have to help prepare lots of food and dress up. The fact that it is warm means I can still wear a dress, and allows us to spend much of the day outside enjoying the company of our neighbors.
3. Where?
a. In what city/suburb/rural location am I?
A small town in rural Kansas.

b. What are my immediate surroundings?
My house and Mrs. Potts’s house next door and the fence and alley behind them.

c. How do the city and immediate surroundings affect my life?
Living in a small, rural town in Kansas means that we live a more country/southern lifestyle. It is slower paced and because our town is so small everybody knows each other as well as everyone else’s business. We are close with our neighbors; our proximity to Mrs. Potts means that we spend a lot of time together and we all help each other out, cooking together, lending each other things, etc. There is not much privacy and news travels fast.

d. What are the social and spiritual customs and political tendencies of my family?
My family is very tightly knit. We are not very spiritual, although we do attend church on Sundays, and we do not discuss politics much. We tend to be the neutral ones, often in the middle of all of Mrs. Potts and Rosemary’s drama be it with Howard or Mrs. Potts’s charity cases as mom calls them. Somehow, all of their drama gets brought to our front porch.
i. Neighborhood?
Socially, everyone is very friendly and our neighbors have the tendency to be over-involved in my family’s and everyone else’s business. Mrs. Potts tends to take in whatever handsome young men she can find wandering around, which makes for interesting company. Rosemary on the other hand is a teacher and therefore very proper. She dresses nicely and does not ever break any rules or do anything to cause a disturbance. She has very strong views and is not afraid to share them, such as her dislike of the statue in the library. She is goody two-shoes.
ii. Group?
I am not sure what group I would be considered a part of. Within my social class we are not very political, but when I am with Allan’s “group” be it his friends or his family they discuss politics a lot. They are all very smart, proper and high class and I often feel very out of place.
iii. Society?
Because I am a woman I am not expected to have political viewpoints. In fact, I am not expected to have much of an opinion about anything. Many people in my town go to church, but I am not a very religious person.

e. Does my age, race, gender or aesthetic constrain or liberate me? How?
Now that I am an adult, my age liberates me. It gives me the freedom to make my own decisions and allows me to go after Hal even though Mom does not approve. My race does not necessarily liberate me, but being white it definitely does not constrain me either. Being a female is a constraint as women are viewed below men. I am expected to look pretty and do house work; I want to be so much more than a trophy wife/house wife, but I do not know how. My aesthetic appearance constrains me as well. Every girl dreams of being beautiful, but it turns out when you are beautiful, all people can see is what you look like on the outside; they tend to skip over and disregard everything on the inside, everything else that makes me who I am.
4. What?
a. What has just happened prior to the events in the script?
Hal was teaching Millie to dance so I began to dance with Howard. Eventually we switched partners, and I began to dance with Hal. We fell in sync and there was an instant spark between us. Then, Rosemary wanted to dance with Hal and when he rejected her she said some nasty things about his worthlessness and stormed off. I went upstairs to finish getting ready and when I came down Mom told me that I am not allowed to wear my new dress. So, I went upstairs to change and when I came back down I ran into Hal who was sitting alone on the bench on the porch looking very down.

b. What is happening presently?
I try to comfort Hal by telling him a story about Rosemary making a fool of herself. I discover that we have a lot in common, and as he opens up and tells me his deepest secret, I discover that I am falling in love with him. I then proceed to kiss him and we decide to skip the picnic and go spend some time alone, just the two of us.

c. What is my attitude toward the unfolding events?
I feel slightly guilty about cheating on Allan, but I am in love with Hal and I know that this relationship is right no matter how much others, such as my mother, disapprove.

d. How does my attitude differ from that of my family, friends, or society?
My family and the rest of society would consider this relationship to be wrong on many different levels. First of all, I have a boyfriend, so I am being unfaithful. Also, my boyfriend is of much higher status, so it is hard for others to understand why I would trade that for a lowly, poor, uneducated piece of “trash” as they consider him. It is hard for them to see Hal’s worth as a person.

e. What do I expect to happen in the future?
I plan to follow Hal wherever he goes. Wherever he can find work I will go. I will work odd jobs to help support us and we will be poor and maybe homeless or living on couches or in a motel, but we will be in love so we will be happy.

5. Why?
a. What is my motivating force?
My motivating force is the need for a purpose and my fear of marrying someone I do not love. I need someone to see my value, and I need something to work for. Hal needs me and therefore, being there for him gives me a purpose; he gives my life direction.

b. What happens if I succeed? Fail?
If I succeed I will have found where my life is supposed to lead. I will cease going through the everyday motions and I will live not necessarily the life I dreamed, but a life that I believe will make me happy. If I fail, I will be doomed to a life as a trophy wife married to Allan and living in the same small town, simply going through the motions every day.

6. How?
a. What stands in my way of achieving my goals?
Hal is distrustful; he has very poor self-esteem and views himself as others have told him he is: a piece of trash. He is trying to push me away, to save me from himself, as he does not view himself as worthy, making it difficult for me to get close to him. My conscience also stands in my way, although this is an obstacle that I have more control over.

b. What is my “will” to get what I want?
My will stems from my fear of the future I am currently looking in the eye, the spark I felt while dancing with Hal and the wild side of me that wants nothing more than to get on a train and go somewhere, anywhere, else. This will allows me to do what I may otherwise not have done as I have been raised well, have a conscience and am not one to do such rash, passionate things.