Two ways understanding intercultural communication in interpersonal communication influences decisions in “Deliver message” is that if you are open to differences, then you are likely to ask more questions and understand the other person’s point of view in a better and deeper way.
Question1
Seeking to understand that conflict can be positive or negative will help people learn that there are options in communication styles. Conflict is inevitable, however, learning to use positive tools such as focus, time-out or empathy, canhelp calm emotions and allow better reception, communication andconflict resolution. Most negative aspects of conflict typically build up emotional walls, and do not help solve problems.
Question 2
With both my husband and I being college students, I find that one of the unproductive conflict management styles used often in our relationship is gunnysacking. Just like Pat and Chris, we both make our own papers and exams top priority. Along with having a two year old to raise, things can get extremely overwhelming at times. I believe that the style changes dramatically with each person. For instance, if I hadconflict at work, I would handle it differently because it is not as intimate. Also, if I werearguing with my mom, I am quite sure I would usethe blame strategy.
Question 3
From what I read, there are no apparent compromises or resolutions in this conversation. It seems as though Pat and Chris are having their conflict in a private setting. However, both Pat and Chris have multiple stress/issues going on in their lives at the same time. Chris decided to start an argument at a time in which Pat was under high stress. They also fight about issues from the past that both have agreed not to talk about. By doing this, they fuel the fire of their current issue, and create more agitation and angst.
Question 4
One unproductive conflict management strategy that is used in this conversation between Pat and Chris is avoidance. They show this when neither of the two want to talk about the real problem, and defer the tension to other past issues.Instead of avoiding the real issue, either Pat or Chris could take the time empathize with the other instead of thinking about themselves. The second unproductive conflict management strategy is gunny sacking. Again, this when they bring up “past greivences” that they both bring up in this conversation. For example, talking about how she did not become a doctors because she was helping him with his history homework and not concentrating on her own goals.A positive strategy to this would be Present-Focus conflict. Again, this ispretty much saying that they should focus on the current issue and not bring up the past.
Question 5
I would suggest that Pat and Christake a time out away from each other, and then return with agreeing about compromising between pats personal goals and Chris’s needs. Either Pat or Chris could choose to utilize “Present Focus” to only discuss the one or two important items at hand, such as Pat’s lecture, or Chris’ need to go groceryshopping. A bit more empathy toward each other would certainly help also. When Pat comes home, mysuggestion to them would be to increase the exchange of rewards and cherishing behaviors in order to reconnect and affirm their relationship.
Question6
Culture is a part of every communication act because based on your culture, different words, body language, and actions may mean different things. Also, based on your orientation, individualistic or collectivist, meaning that if you only take responsibility for yourself and make decisions based onyour personal needs, you are an individualist, or if you are a collectivist, you think of the group andyou are willing to “take one for the team”, and both of these can affect how you communicate with people of other cultures. The context of the conversations is also always changing; meaning most of the communication is in the person/context or assumptions about the other person based onprevious communication. Low-context culture is when most information is expressed through direct verbal communication or in a formal matter that is not limited to a written contract type of form. Depending on how and where you were raised will determine how you speak to people and if you allow assumptions to invade where direct communication is more necessary. Lastly, masculinity or femininity will affect all communication because whether you were taught that men are assertive and only care for material success, then you would likely not discuss feelings or quality of life improvements with a man because in these cultures, women are tender and more emotional. If you were brought up with a feminine culture, you will alternatively see both genders as equal and therefore, both responsible for all aspects of life including tenderness and material success. Just based on these factors, you can interpret and find different cultures boring and odd compared to your own culture solely based off of beliefs.
Question 7
I belong to white-American culture because I was born and raised in the United States and have no concept of having to fight to get to a place where I have more opportunities like immigrants do. In my opinion, my culture is collectivistic because even in school, teachers taught to the masses and sort of instilled that the needs of one student who did not understand something were outweighed by the majority of the class that could move on and keep pace with other children in the same grade. This was problem because with students such as me, learning certain subjects did not come easy and ended up leaving my knowledge in some subjects very poor compared to students of my same age, race, and gender. In American culture, there is a very high context.
Question 8
The first situation that comes to mind when I had to communicate inter-culturally, is when I met my cousins in Italy. They were all born and raised in Sicily, and my cousin and I who went to visit them, were raised here in the United States. The part I struggled most with was communicating without getting irritated. I know I could have been more positive and supportive that they were also having a hard time communicating with us as well. The best thing I can do the next time I am in a similar situation, I know to ask questions to understand and give the other person time to speak for themselves before making assumptions. This also includes not cutting the other person off and demanding to speak to my cousin instead of the person I assumed was the enemy.
Question 9
Two ways understanding intercultural communication in interpersonal communication influences decisions in “Deliver message” is that if you are open to differences, then you are likely to ask more questions and understand the other person’s point of view in a better and deeper way. The second way it influences delivery of the message is by helping lessen the amount of misconceptions being held by either party. This helps avoid unnecessary conflict on multiple levels and also allows both parties a better vantage point to understand where the other is coming from.
Question 10
As a receiver, we can prepare ourselves for differences by investigating the other culture we know we will be in contact with as well as address our fears and weigh our concerns logically. We can also, reduce out ethnocentrism by seeingother cultures as different, but not inferior or superior. Another thing we can do as receivers is to be mindful rather than mindless. That way we will be aware that logically another culture doesnot infer that the other person cannot understand. In fact, many other cultures are farmore educated than we are and can usually speak morethan one language. We can also avoid over-attribution. The attitudes and behaviors of a person aren’t always because of a cultural influence. Sometimes people are just rude, even by theircultures standards. Receivers can also reduce uncertainty by using active listening skills and perception checking. Finally, recognizing differences will help us as receivers, by understanding that even though we have similar symbols and agendas, we also may not. So we should not look to translate everything into out terms sometimes there is no similar term.
Question 11
Emotions are communicated verbally and nonverbally; true, but they are also honest and involuntary.Emotions are the most honest attribute that humankind possesses. Though not all emotions should be expressed openly or communicated they are definitely apparent through verbal and nonverbal communication.In figure 7.2 I believe that example C is most prevalent in daily interaction with our emotions and the expression of them. An event occurs, you respond, physiologically, you interpret the arousal; decide which emotion you are feeling and finally you experience the emotion for what it is. For example, this last week I had to recall a violent attack I experienced that left me bruised and badly battered in 2011. I felt my body grow hot, my head grew tense. I felt ashamed, angry, disgusted andexposed before a jury of strangers. I tried to figure out in an instant what I was feeling. Before I could try and collect myself I as shaking violently on the stand and crying. Emotions can’t be faked! There are too many nonverbal cues that would have to be ignored. In simple terms vibeswould have to disregard. If the emotions are real, they will beexposed.
Question 12
Joe struggles with balancing emotional feelings and emotional communication. In an attempt to be honest and forth coming he is offensive and brass. Joe doesn’t seem to have a clear understanding of emotional understanding. Simply that there are always feelings and emotions at play no matter how unseen they are.
There are a couple things that I would encourage Joe to work on so that he is able to communicate effectively and without offending anyone. First, recognize the cultural differences and bee respectful of them. For example, don’tdiscuss your conservative views on how illegal abortion in the presence a group of young women. You will be seen as insensitive and close-minded insteadavoid conversations like this all together. If it does not relate to the job or task, or the general welfare of the employee while at work don’t discuss it. Second suggestion I would make for Joe is toincrease his sensitivity both culturally and in a gender sense. I believe that these two aspect will help him in being more censored. Lastly, I would encourage him to have an outlet where he can be as uncensored and unprofessional with what he says as he needs, say with a non-work friend or at home in privacy.
Question 13
Ethics and civility arekey in difficult conversation. An understanding of these two elementsgive uncomfortable conversations a blueprint of what not to say and how to say the hard things. Civility is making sure that you provide a higher level of respect and consideration for another person. While ethics deals with whether something is wrong or right. In hard conversations sometimes its hard to acknowledge that something is unethical because there are feelings involved. For example, during my interaction with the prosecutor before my testimony she asked what sort of terms I would be most comfortable with while she questioned me on the stand. She tried to make the conversation as civil as possible even though she was asking me to recall perhaps the most violent event I will ever experience in my lifetime. She was very respectful of my wishes not to be addressed as a victim. She was also very ethical in explaining the procession that the case would take, being fully transparent in what the charges were to the defendant and my protection and the validity of the evidence and my testimony.
Difficult conversations are unavoidable, ethics and civility provides a path.
Question 14
The process of conversation is as follows:
Step one: Opening – Let’s others know you are available for conversation and can help maintain the relationship.
Step two: Feed-forward – Gives the listener a general idea of what the conversation is about.
Step three: Business – This is the substance of the conversation, the “message”.
Step four: Feedback – Allows the speaker to evaluate how the message was received.
Step five: Closing – Signals the end of accessibility.
In the DECIDE tool, step 2 is the process of evaluating the receiver situation. Two decisions I can make to help me be more competent in interpersonal conversation from “Managing Conversation” are:
- Be aware of opening a conversation with an innocuous opening line. In this way I could brake the ice and set a nice atmosphere for my listener. I am usually to direct and skip using an opener other than using a persons name. Perhaps an opening line may make me easier to take.
- I can also try and use dialogue instead of monologue to manage my conversations. I have a tendency to say things that do not require me to focus on the listeners feelings or attitudes. I will show concern for the listener and our relationship, helping me better evaluate the receiver situation.
Question 15
I am satisfied with my level of flexibility, but I admit I have room for improvement. In order to improve my flexibility in communicationskills I would realize no two situations or people are exactly alike. I must ask myself what is difference in a particular situation or person and takethose differences into consideration asI construct my message. Also, I will realize that every situation offers different options forcommunicating. I can think about those options and try to predict the effects each option might have. Another step I could take that wouldnot just increase my flexibility, but improve communication skills overall is self disclose more often when someone self discloses to me. I realize now that when someone does that they are making themselves vulnerable and it would help my relationship if I did the same thing. Thatway the person doesn’t feel like it is uneven.
Question16
Understanding conversation ethics and civility can help me increase the overall effectiveness of my interpersonal communication skills by helping me to realize when I am not being polite, considerate or understanding. It can also help me in step three of theDECIDE tool. I can develop my message based upon my understanding of what is appropriate and how to say something without unnecessarily offending, hurting or breaking a relationship.
In my experience, I have to restate my intent after offending someone. I have found myself apologizing becausemy chosen words were rude or hurtful. I admit that I sometimes wanted to be hurtful, but that is anunethical way to use communication skills. I could have used I-messages to diffuse argumentsand disclosed my true feelings rather than be aggressive in my message. More often than not, I really want someone to understand me instead of just be mean. So if I apply all the principlesI learned about communication in an ethical and civil manner, I will increase my popularity with most people I know and improve the personal relationships I have.
