According to Ellis, blame is the core of most emotional disturbance. Who and what does Aaron blame for his problems?

Aaron was the highly intelligent eleven-year-old son of an unemotional, overly intellectual divorced woman who worked as a mathematician at one of the Los Angeles missile and space laboratories, and a father who lived in another part of the country and had no contact with him. Aaron was often left home in the care of a neighbor while his mother went away on weekends with her boyfriend.

One way to describe Aaron and his behavior is to say that although he was pleasant in appearance, he was the most obnoxious child the counselor had every met. He ran pell-mell from game to game and toy to toy in the counselors office, never letting the counselor help him to enjoy what he was doing. He seemed to be almost desperately avoiding the counselor’s offer to play as if her joining in the play might deprive him in some way of some of his pleasures. He acted aggressively in a completely haphazard, unpredictable way, crying for the counselors attention but turning nasty and withdrawing when she gave him some warmth. He discussed his mother in a highly critical way, describing her as hostile and rejecting. Criticizing the previous counselors at the clinic in their treatment of him as well as the clinic toys, playrooms, and lack of entertaining facilities, he also rattled on about all the destructive things he did and was planning to do at home.

He blamed his failure to be happy on his mother, her boyfriend, his missing father, or his previous counselors. His school did not escape his critical wrath: it was very bad, his teachers did not understand him, and the other kids picked on him. All he felt was that no one really cared; he was involved with no one; and he acted almost totally on impulse.

In his attempt to get attention and perhaps limits, he tried everything, producing grossly inconsistent behavior. Vocally and physically aggressive at times, he might with equal suddenness become withdrawn and almost detached from reality. He would start a game, then destroy it if he suffered even one minor setback. He walked away from outdoor play with the counselor and then would come back to beg her for candy. He would run away, hide, and try to make the counselor look for him all over the clinic. Continually begging for ice cream or for money, he became detached when he was refused. He made it a point to never talk about anything meaningful, including what he was feeling and doing. If these came up naturally in conversation he would stop suddenly and run, scream, or talk gibberish. Several times in the session he would tell the counselor that his mother did not like him.

His mother was an impersonal, detached individual who raised Aaron as an object rather than a person. Instead of reacting to his behavior and setting some limits, she discussed it with him objectively. Essentially a cold woman, she did contribute to his frustration. Basically Aaron felt unworthy and unloved. From material in the record it was apparent that the school had given up trying to reach this intelligent boy and was just trying to live with him. He made fair grades in subject matter, but he was a disrupting influence in the classroom and in all his social contracts. The other children in school and around his neighborhood shunned him like the plague, precipitating further anger and obnoxious behavior, which in turn caused them to shun him even more. At home or in school he interrupted their play, destroyed their creative attempts, and broke into their recitations in class with snide remarks.

In order to learn REBT and Cognitive theories, you will practice applying these concepts to the case of Aaron. Please answer the following questions:
REBT:

1. According to Ellis, blame is the core of most emotional disturbance. Who and what does Aaron blame for his problems?

2. According to this theory, people escalate their desires into “shoulds,” “oughts,” and “musts.” These can be about oneself and others. For example, I might say to myself that my husband “should” help me with the housework when this is actually a desire. I might say that I “must” succeed in everything I do. Provide 3 shoulds, oughts or musts that Aaron has about himself or others. Note that should s, oughts and musts are the same…they are different terms of expressing a demand instead of a preference. So when answering question #

2, use whichever of the three terms that you are more
comfortable with. Remember that some should s are about the self (e.g., I should be smart) and some are about others (e.g., she should treat me with respect).

3. REBT believes that thoughts and beliefs (B) lead to emotions (C) and behaviors (C), not the activating event (A). Therefore, if one changes one’s thoughts (B), then a change in emotions (C) and behavior (C) will follow. For example, if I believe that I must do well in everything, I may feel overwhelmed and I may act compulsively to avoid failing. If I change the original thought to something more rational, for example, “There will be areas in which I will do very well and there are areas in which I will only do somewhat well, and that’s okay,” then I will feel more relaxed and accepting of myself and I will put my energy into those things I enjoy and do well.